Have you noticed that your wife has not actively participated when it comes to being intimate with you? Maybe she has been rejecting your advances and giving different reasons why she cannot have sex with you for the time being.
You can get to know some of the possible reasons why your wife is avoiding intimacy even though she hasn’t given any reason yet. After going through these possible reasons in this article, be prepared to communicate with her so that you can look for a way forward.
What does it mean when your wife won’t touch you?
No clear-cut reason can be ascribed to why your wife does not touch you. One of the best ways to find out is to discuss it with her.
Avoid bringing up the issue combatively. However, speak to her with love, and make it easy for her to open up to you. When she relays her concerns, put heads together to come up with a solution.
15 possible reasons why your wife avoids intimacy
Sometimes, marriages experience different issues that can reduce the intimacy between partners. If you notice that your wife avoids intimacy, be careful not to blame her for it. Rather, discover why she doesn’t want to be intimate with you.
Here are some of the likely reasons when it comes to wife avoiding intimacy
1. She’s busy
One of the reasons why the wife doesn’t want intimacy might be that she is busy with some engagements that have taken her time. Some women are usually spent to the point where they may not have the energy and interest for sex. Therefore, it is important that you don’t add to your wife’s stress.
Rather, try to understand what she is going through and help her work around creating time to be intimate with you. Also, you can help her with some of the tasks taking her time so that she will be well-rested and energized.
2. You don’t have the same views on the importance of sex
Concerning a wife avoiding intimacy, it might be that she doesn’t understand the importance of sex as you do. So, she might not be motivated to be intimate like you would if you were in her shoes.
Instead of blaming her for it, have an open and honest conversation about what sex means to you. She might not be willing to do all you want, but the two of you should be open to meeting in the middle to satisfy both parties.
Aleksandar Stulhofer and other authors discussed how intimacy and sexual distress can affect partners, and they used European couples as a case study. The research is titled Relationship intimacy, sexual distress, and help-seeking for sexual problems among older European couples; a hybrid dyadic approach.
3. She feels pressured by you
Another reason why your wife avoids emotional intimacy might be that you’ve been pressuring her. You might be asking for too much more than she can handle, which is beginning to affect her differently.
When it comes to being intimate with your partner, it should not be done under pressure. Rather, both parties should be willing to do it because they enjoy doing so.
To solve this, modify your expectations when it comes to intimacy. Communicate with her to know what she prefers, and come to a compromise with her.
4. She doesn’t like your style of sex
Regarding wife avoiding intimacy, it might be that she is uncomfortable with the style of sex you prefer. Some women might not want to talk about this because they don’t want to offend you, so they may prefer to keep their distance when having intimate moments.
If you suspect this is happening, you can discuss with her what she prefers when having sex. Allow her to suggest some styles that she feels comfortable with so that she would be happy when intimate with you.
5. She doesn’t feel emotionally connected to you
The lack of emotional connection might be one of the reasons when it comes to your wife avoiding intimacy. Some people need an emotional connection to be intimate with their partners, while others may have to string it along to satisfy their partners.
When you notice this, ensure you find out what is happening with her. It might be due to external or internal issues, so it is up to the two of you to find a solution to whatever is affecting her so that it doesn’t further wreck the marriage.
6. There are ongoing problems between the two of you
If you have asked questions like what does it mean when your wife doesn’t want you to touch her, it might be that there are problems in the relationship.
For instance, if the two of you disagree about an issue, it might be difficult for her to be intimate with you except the two of you settle the conflict. When things are going fine between you, there is a good chance she will be intimate with you without any pressure.
7. Motherhood is affecting her
Sometimes, when your wife shows no intimacy, it might be that the demands of motherhood are affecting her. When some women become mothers, they might find it hard to be intimate with their partners and still cater to their young ones.
She might begin to see herself as a mother rather than someone who needs to satisfy her partner. If you feel that this is what is happening to your wife, you can show her love the way it was when you were dating or
8. She is insecure about her body
When it comes to concerns in marriage, like why does my wife avoids intimacy, it could be due to being insecure about her body. Sometimes, when a woman is insecure about her body, she might not be keen on being intimate with you.
She might even mention how she feels concerning her body to you on some occasions. When you notice this, draw her closer to you and keep reassuring her that you love her regardless of how she feels about her body.
9. Her sex drive is low
If you wonder why your wife is avoiding intimacy, it might be due to low sex drive, which some factors like menopause can cause. During menopause, for instance, the blood flow to the vagina and clitoris decreases.
The nerves that induce pleasure get less sensitive, making it less easy for them to reach orgasm. If you think this is what is happening, you can suggest taking her to your healthcare provider to explore possible treatment options.
10. She might have health problems
When your wife is avoiding intimacy, it might be due to some underlying health problems. You and your wife might need a checkup when you discover that her lack of intimacy is prolonged.
If something is medically wrong with her, she might need to be treated for it. Hence, instead of assuming she doesn’t want to be intimate with you, find out if all is well with her.
11. She may be anxious or depressed
If you ask questions like why my wife doesn’t want me sexually, she may struggle with mental health problems.
Sometimes, when a woman is anxious or depressed, being intimate with her partner might be difficult.
As long as the mental health problem persists, she might not be interested in sex. You can assist her in getting help by taking her to a mental health counselor or therapist so that she can get her mental health back on track.
12. She might not be interested in the relationship
If you suspect your wife is avoiding intimacy, it might be that her interest in the relationship has waned over time. She may not be attracted to you like before, which can make it hard for her to initiate or even agree to be intimate with you.
When you notice her body language, and you’re sure she doesn’t have feelings for you like before, talk to her about it. Come up with solutions on how to revive the spark in your marriage.
13. She is not currently in the mood for sex
Sometimes we don’t feel like being intimate, and this is what your wife might be facing. She may not be in the mood to do anything intimately with you, and it is fine not to pressurize her.
You can try to initiate intimacy at another time when you notice that she is not in the mood. Also, remember to communicate with her about it so that you don’t end up assuming what is not wrong.
14. You are more focused on work than her
If your wife notices that you pay more attention to your work and spend less time with her, she might not want to be intimate with you.
This is why some people ask questions like why a wife doesn’t want to be intimate.
Look at your work schedule, and see how you can be more flexible with your time. You need to spend more quality time with your wife so that she realizes that you love her.
15. You’re no longer romantic
Sometimes, she might not be interested in being intimate with you because you are not romantic like you used to be.
She could indirectly tell you this or from her body language. When you suspect this is the case, try to go back to the days you were chasing her. Initiate romantic date nights, vacations, etc., to win her heart again.
It might be challenging for you to begin and sustain an intimate relationship. This is what Menealos Apostolou talked about in their study. The research piece is titled What Makes it Difficult to Start an Intimate Relationship, and this content reveals a number of reasons to be aware of.