Many people grow up pretty confused about their emotions and how they work. So, understandably, they tend to simply avoid what feels bad and hold onto what feels good.
The problem is…
Making decisions based on how you feel is a recipe for both failure and unhappiness.
On the other hand, emotionally sophisticated people have a more nuanced understanding of how emotions work. And the better you understand your emotions, the easier it is to work with them in a healthy way.
Emotional sophistication means having a deep understanding of how your emotions actually work.
If you want to cultivate a healthier understanding of your emotions, these 6 habits are a good place to start.
1. They’re Curious About Their Own Mind
Emotionally sophisticated people have a habit of thinking about their own minds.
Just like a good scientist is curious about the world and lets their natural curiosity and observations guide later theorizing and experimentation, emotionally sophisticated people have a curiosity about their own minds and inner world.
For example:
They think it’s curious that guilt was the first emotion they felt after getting cut off on the freeway rather than anger.
They notice a pattern of pessimistic thinking in certain areas and optimism in others.
They wonder about the bigger beliefs that motivate their behaviors.
The trick to cultivating self-curiosity is to realize that we’re all naturally curious — including about ourselves. But for many people, that innate curiosity has been suppressed by a competing habit of self-criticism.
It’s hard to be curious about yourself when you’re constantly judging yourself.
If you want to alleviate the overly-judgmental attitude toward your own mind and allow your natural curiosity to rise up, practice being more gentle with yourself. Watch your habits of…