Marriage and motherhood are two of the biggest commitments one can make. They’re both lifelong commitments. If you have one or more children and a spouse, you may be struggling to balance your marriage and being a parent. Learning how to balance motherhood and marriage is extremely important for a woman because these are equally important commitments. They’re two primary responsibilities that you’ve taken on.
So, finding that good balance where you have enough time to care for your children and sustain a loving and healthy relationship with your spouse is fundamental to your well-being.
If you’re about to welcome a baby, or you already have a child or a few children, and you’re wondering how to balance motherhood and marriage, hello and welcome!
The first thing you know when it comes to learning and implementing how to balance motherhood and marriage is that it will be challenging. This is not a pretty simple or easy task.
Before beginning this journey, remember that striving for perfection when balancing between a parent and a spouse is pointless.
Why?
This is because there is no perfect standard for this balance. It’s about you being mindful and implementing some helpful tips to have a better balance between motherhood and marriage.
Adjusting to motherhood: how to do it?
The reality of being a mother can be starkly different from what you had thought it would be like. And that’s life.
For many females, putting that pressure on themselves by trying to figure out how to be the perfect mom often sets them up for disappointment and failure.
The concept of being a perfect mother or a perfect parent doesn’t exist!
Mothers struggle when they welcome a child into their lives. Introducing a child to the world and into your life can be a challenging and even overwhelming experience.
A big part of being a better mother or trying to figure out how to balance motherhood and marriage is to accept that the reality of becoming a primary caregiver to a child can be different from your idea of the same.
Accepting that motherhood is a journey that can challenge you and make you feel overwhelmed sometimes is important.
Apart from being challenging and overwhelming at times, figuring out the dynamics of marriage and motherhood is also important to effectively adjust to motherhood if you’re married.
There are several helpful tips covered in the following sections that can help you understand and balance being a wife and mother,
Here are some ways that you can consider for adjusting and accepting motherhood:
Motherhood can be an extremely emotional experience
The confusion, burden of new responsibilities, the sound of your crying infant, sleeplessness, and fatigue can make you feel many strong emotions.
But instead of repressing these intense feelings, which will eventually impact you adversely, consider allowing yourself to feel all these big emotions and express them.
Baby blues are real
Baby blues is the term used to refer to the period right after delivery where your hormone secretion drops significantly. You may experience mood swings, bouts of crying, strong negative feelings directed at your baby, headaches, and so on.
But don’t be too critical or harsh on yourself. This happens to a considerable percentage of new mommies! Talk to your physician if you’re experiencing this as well as your spouse or partner. It should typically subside after a few days.
Check out these ways to fight off baby blues:
Accept help for various household responsibilities
Chores around your home that you and your partner could get done quickly might feel overwhelming in the early days of motherhood.
If you’re primarily in charge of caring for your child, then consider delegating more household responsibilities to your partner or others who offer to help. Also, consider making to-do lists to help you stay organized.
Listen to your body
Please don’t burden yourself or overexert yourself to exercise or lose the baby weight. Take it easy. Be kind to yourself. Be mindful of how much you can handle physically and mentally.
Does motherhood come naturally?
Another critical question that arises when it comes to learning how to balance motherhood and marriage is that does this role of being a mother come naturally?
The answer is that it may or may not come easily or naturally. But the important thing to remember is that even your instincts or adjustment to motherhood doesn’t come effortlessly or naturally. It is most definitely not an indication that you can’t be a good mom.
Not every female can feel like a caring and nurturing parent from the get-go. And it’s okay!
Motherhood is a time characterized by constant demands that are ever-changing.
So yes, adjusting to motherhood won’t necessarily come naturally to mothers. It takes work. And most importantly, time.
A big part of motherhood and marriage is to accept that you may not always be jazzed about being a parent. It’s okay.
Don’t feel guilty for feeling overwhelmed or not having naturally solid maternal instincts. Remember, you’re human!
The changes brought about by motherhood to your life
Before getting into the various tips for balancing motherhood work and marriage, let’s take a quick look at the significant changes that motherhood can bring about in your life.
Your patience increases
Whether you enter motherhood with your spouse or self-motherhood is your journey, your patience inevitably increases when you spend a good chunk of your time and energy caring for a child.
You become more selfless
Nurturing and taking responsibility for your child means that you’re giving to another human being without any expectations of receiving anything.
You become less judgmental
The significant difference between the reality and expectations of motherhood naturally makes people less judgmental.
Your intuitive abilities grow
In the process of constantly nurturing and protecting your child, your intuition grows. This helps you greatly in every aspect of life as you grow as a mother.
You understand your inner child better
A significant component of being a mother or a parent is to spend a significant amount of time entertaining or soothing your child with children’s songs, tv shows, toys, cuddles, being goofy or silly, and so on. These activities help you understand and reconnect with your inner child!
Balancing marriage and motherhood: 15 effective tips
Let’s now get into learning about how to balance motherhood and marriage. To prevent losing yourself in motherhood and marriage and establish balance in marriage, consider implementing these 15 tips.
15 effective tips for learning how to balance motherhood and marriage have been delineated as follows:
Prioritization is key
When it’s about balancing motherhood, prioritizing the needs or requirements (including work), your child, your partner, and your house (with your partner) are essential. Remember that priorities can vary regularly.
2. Scheduling is important
This is in the same vein as prioritization. Once you’ve prioritized, make a list of the tasks to be executed in the descending order of priority.
3. Have fun
Injecting some laughter and excitement into your daily life in whatever way you and your partner desire is essential for learning how to be a good housewife and mother.
Whether it’s by watching a funny movie at night with your spouse or doing something silly with your baby or partner, get that joy back.
4. Communicate with your spouse
In learning how to balance motherhood and marriage, the importance of communicating openly and directly with your spouse is unparalleled.
If you’re having doubts about whether you both are spending enough time together, talk to him. Tell him if you think your spouse can dedicate more time to nurturing the child. If you need help, ask him.
5. Allow yourself to unplug
Unplugging from the various devices or gadgets you use from time to time is essential when it comes to establishing a balance between marriage and motherhood.
Instead of spending your free time on your tablet or laptop, or phone, spend that time journaling or catching up with your loved ones or your spouse.
6. Dress up (if and when you wish to)
If you’re at home all the time for your baby, it might feel pointless to dress up. But remember: dressing up is about yourself. So, when you wish to dress up, you’re doing it to feel good! It’s for yourself! So, don’t hold back.
Besides feeling good, dressing up can also help you feel like you have a greater sense of control over everything! You’ll feel confident.
7. Get enough sleep
Feeling fatigued is a part of motherhood. Without being well-rested, you’re more likely to feel irritable and snap at your spouse over little things. Even if you both manage to go out for a date, you won’t be able to enjoy that time if you’re feeling exhausted. So, prioritize sleep.
8. Exercise regularly
Another important aspect of figuring out how to balance motherhood and marriage is to focus on your health. Exercising regularly doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to go to a gym or a Pilates class every day. No.
It’s about being physically active in whatever way you can or want to be. It can be by playing with your child, dancing, going for walks with your spouse, doing yoga, and so on.
Confidence in yourself, your health, and your appearance are crucial aspects of successfully balancing being a mother and wife.
9. Ditch the guilt
Unfortunately, mom guilt is an inevitable part of motherhood and parenthood in general. Whether you’re a housewife or have a career, it’s important to ditch the guilt. Accept help from loved ones or babysitters and nannies for your child.
There’s nothing inappropriate or wrong with getting help. You and your beloved can utilize that time to make some special memories of your own!
10. Establish proper bedtimes for your kids
Rekindling sexual and physical intimacy with your spouse is important for implementing how to balance motherhood and marriage. And one of the most effective ways to do that is by establishing a fixed bedtime for your child or children.
When they’re off to sleep, you both can use that time to spend with each other.
11. Daily quality time
Another easy way to establish a balance between relationship and parenthood is to sit down with your beloved and decide a time of the day where you can be together without any interruption from your child.
Use that time (the duration is not necessary) as your quality time with your spouse. This can mean having a cup of tea or coffee before work or a quick stroll during the day etc.
12. Weekend getaways are helpful
If you can have loved ones watching your child for a weekend, plan a romantic trip with your spouse! Rekindle that passion and intimacy!
13. Play outside regularly
Encouraging your child to play outside will also provide you with the chance to get out of your home. Playing outside regularly will also provide you and your spouse the opportunity to go for a walk or be silly or have fun together!
14. Self-care is necessary
The importance of self-care as a mom is incomparable. Self-care can be anything that soothes you and makes you happy.
Whether it’s getting a haircut, taking a nap, playing an instrument, journaling, painting, and so on, self-care for mothers is essential to help you feel refreshed and energized.
15. Go for play-dates
Play-dates regularly help your child make friends and provide you and your spouse to interact and become friends with other parents. This is another fantastic way to have fun with your spouse and establish a balance between motherhood and your marriage.
Conclusion
Consider implementing at least a few of the tips mentioned above that have been proven to help individuals balance motherhood and marriage. You will be great at balancing both!