Will I find love? Yes, you will, but you can’t see that when facing a crisis of confidence. If you’re newly dumped or divorced, it’s even murkier.
It’s more worrisome the older you get, too. You think all the good partners are gone, but that’s not true.
The uncomfortable truth is you aren’t ready to date yet.
You think you are, but you aren’t. You’re subconsciously sabotaging yourself.
I rushed back into dating after my divorce before I was ready. I learned these five lessons. They apply to anyone looking to get back into dating.
Do it Intentionally
I’m guilty of this. You, too, probably.
You aren’t dating with intention. You date for the sake of dating. Maybe your friends are all locked down. Maybe you’re lonely. Perhaps you’re just bored.
Walking the dating streets without directions will only lead to heartbreak and frustration for you and those you encounter. If you don’t care about others, that’s a different article and part of the problem.
Just remember that ‘hurt people, hurt people’. This was me after my divorce. I just wanted casual. It made things worse for me and others.
Look, there is nothing wrong with just wanting to date casually or not wanting to settle down. But be upfront about it and clear with yourself about what you want and don’t want. Otherwise, you’re just wasting everyone’s time.
That’s what being intentional means: knowing what you want, being clear about it, and aligning your actions and words with that vision. If you are looking for a life partner, that’s great.
Ensure the people you are dating know that and are looking for the same thing. You’re not out there playing games or tricking people. If someone isn’t looking for the same thing, leave them be.
What do You Want?
You know everything you hate about the people you’ve been with. What about the good things? Did they have qualities you liked?