While negativity in relationships is certainly harmful, there are ways to keep negative energy away, as well as ways of how to stop being negative in a relationship.
Here are ten ways to keep negativity out of your marriage:
1. Counteract negative interactions with positive ones
Remember, marriage experts argue that a couple needs five positive interactions to overcome negative exchanges. When you find yourself being negative or critical toward your partner, be careful to follow this negativity with plenty of positivity.
2. Have open communication with your partner
Allow your partner to express when they feel hurt by your behavior, and be willing to talk to your partner when they have been overly critical or hypersensitive.
3. Make time for fun together
Marriage can be difficult, but when you spend time doing enjoyable activities together, you strengthen your connection and make room for more positivity.
4. Accept your partner’s imperfections
No one is perfect. We all have flaws, and there are things about us that annoy our partner, and visa-versa. Avoid the urge to nit pick your partner’s flaws, as this only invites negativity into the relationship.
5. Take time to let your partner know you appreciate them
This is a prime example of how to not be negative. Everyone wants to feel valued, and when you take time to praise your partner or express gratitude for what they do for you, they will be likely to reciprocate, leading to being more positive in a relationship.
6. Let go of grudges
You can detect negative energy in a person when they are constantly bringing up past wrongdoings. Keep negativity in marriage at bay by letting go of grudges. When you forgive your partner for a mistake, don’t bring it up repeatedly or throw it in their face during a future argument.
7. Don’t make any room for jealousy in your relationship
When you find yourself feeling jealous toward your partner, you are opening the door to negativity. If you are jealous of your partner or feel the need to compete, you may find yourself wanting to bring them down in order to feel better.
Instead of being jealous, practice being happy for your partner when they accomplish something.
In the short video below, Matthew Hussey says jealousy arises out of comparison. He further explains tips to overcome jealousy and remain positive.
8. Stop comparing your marriage to other people’s relationships
Each relationship is unique, and if you are constantly comparing your partner to someone else or reminding your partner of how they fall short, you are asking for negativity.
Appreciate your partner for their strengths, and remember that in some ways, other couples may compare themselves to you.
9. Appreciate the value of humor
Laughing together is a great way to counteract negativity in relationships. Take time to tell jokes or see the humor in everyday life.
10. Make an effort to be kind to your partner
Practice compassion when they are struggling or have made a mistake, and be careful to use kind words, rather than being critical. It may sound cliche, but when you treat your partner with the kindness that you also want to receive, you will likely get kindness in return.
This is a great way to avoid negativity and its consequences for a marriage.
Conclusion
Negativity in marriage is damaging. It involves frequent criticism, pessimism, and conflict between spouses. Over time, negativity can take such a hold that it seems as if the entire marriage is negative. This level of tension can lead to unhappiness and eventually divorce.
Fortunately, there are ways of how to deal with negativity in marriage. If you find that you are the one who is always negative toward your spouse, you can reframe your thinking by giving affirmations to your partner, correcting negative self-talk, and practicing gratitude.
If you are on the receiving end of your partner’s negativity, there are ways of how to stay positive in a negative environment, such as surrounding yourself with positive people and trying to invite your partner to do something fun together.
Ultimately, marriages are strongest when you keep negative energy away and practice kindness with your partner, but if you find that negativity is damaging your marriage despite your efforts to cope with it, you and your spouse may benefit from working with a relationship therapist to learn how to deal with negativity.