We talk a lot about emotional boundaries, which are the lines that you draw around the behavior and treatment that you will (and won’t) accept from the people around you.
At times, they’re the most difficult to maintain in an intimate relationship, because emotions run high, judgment can become cloudy, and we can “let things slide” that we know we shouldn’t.
Below, we’ll discuss some behaviors that throw up major red flags and should violate even the most forgiving person’s boundaries.
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1: Repeated broken promises.
A promise, I believe, should only be made with the clear intention of being kept, but I understand that life can get in the way, circumstances change, and sometimes things that are outside of our control can prevent us from following through on something we said we’d do.
I say this because I understand that life happens, and not every broken promise is an act of betrayal or disloyalty.
However, if you find that a person is repeatedly and consistently falling short of the things they’ve promised you, are always finding reasons why they “can’t,” are regularly pushing you down their list of priorities…then you really need to start asking yourself how seriously they are taking you and the relationship you’re building together.
If a person is genuinely sorry for going back on their word, you’ll clearly see them trying to make it up to you or do something to express this remorse. If it’s a pattern, though, and no solution is ever provided — it’s time to push the emotion aside and understand that people like this will just continue taking advantage of your good nature…until you stop allowing them to.
2: Making you feel badly about yourself in public OR in private.