Dear Aunty Abena, I’m finding it difficult keeping a promise I made to my deceased boyfriend and I kindly request your assistance in posting my story on your page and seeking solutions to a problem that I am facing. I am in desperate need of guidance, and I hope you can help me find answers.
In 2015, I gave birth to my little girl, and everything seemed to be going well. However, in 2019, within a span of just two weeks, I tragically lost my father and the father of my child. May their souls rest in peace. It was an incredibly challenging time for me, especially as I was still in college. Despite the difficulties, I managed to persevere and successfully complete my studies.
However, a few months after my boyfriend’s passing, things took a turn for the worse. His family, unfortunately, has not been supportive in any way. I have been solely responsible for providing for my child’s needs, such as food, clothing, school bills, and medical expenses. I rely mostly on support from my mother and sisters. Regrettably, none of my late boyfriend’s family members are willing to contribute to the care of their own nephew. Their objection stems from my decision to raise my daughter myself instead of giving her to them.
Before my late partner fell seriously ill, he specifically warned me never to entrust his child to any of his family members if anything were to happen to him, except myself and my mother. Given the current circumstances, I am not currently employed, and things are extremely difficult for me. Taking care of myself alone is already a challenge, let alone raising an eight-year-old girl. I am at a loss as to what to do. Should I disregard everything my deceased boyfriend told me and give custody of our child to his family, or should I continue to care for her myself, as I have always done?
I humbly seek your guidance and earnestly request your help in finding answers to these pressing questions. Thank you for your support.
ADVICE FROM AUNTY ABENA
My Dear Sister,
I understand that you are facing a challenging situation, and I’m here to offer you some advice and support. First of all, I want to commend you for your strength and resilience in navigating through the loss of your father and the father of your child. It’s not easy to endure such difficult times, but you’ve managed to pull through and complete your college education successfully. That is truly admirable.
Now, concerning the issue with your deceased ex-partner’s family, it seems they are not being supportive despite your efforts to provide for your child on your own. It’s understandable that you feel conflicted about whether or not to follow your ex-partner’s wishes and give custody of your child to his family. This is a deeply personal decision that only you can make.
I encourage you to consider a few things before making a choice. Reflect on the relationship between your child and her paternal family. Is there a strong bond or connection that would benefit her by being in their care? Assess the level of involvement and support they have shown thus far. If their concern is solely about having custody and not actively participating in your child’s upbringing, it may be worth reconsidering.
Additionally, think about your own capabilities and support system. Evaluate your financial stability, emotional well-being, and the assistance you receive from your mother and sisters. Raising a child alone is undoubtedly challenging, but it’s also rewarding. If you believe you can provide a loving and nurturing environment for your daughter and have the necessary support to do so, it may be in her best interest to remain in your care.
Ultimately, the decision should prioritize the well-being and happiness of your child. Consider seeking legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities in this situation. Remember that you are not alone and there are resources available to assist single parents.
Please take your time, weigh your options, and trust your instincts. You have already shown incredible strength in overcoming past hardships, and I have faith that you will make the best decision for yourself and your child. Stay strong, dear sister, and know that I am here for you every step of the way.