The first girl who came to live with us to help around the house got pregnant. She was only twenty years old. I was very furious because we had plans for her. She didn’t go to school. According to her parents, she didn’t know the answer to 1+1-2 so her teacher beat her and that brought her education to an end in class six.
But she was good with her hands and wasn’t lazy. We decided to take her through apprenticeship so she could learn something for herself but she allowed the area guys to sing in her ears. She got pregnant listening to a song from one of such useless guys.
When she got pregnant, my wife was on her asking who got her pregnant. It was very easy. She led my wife to the guy’s house and they had a discussion. She wasn’t going to live with us while pregnant so my wife decided to send her away to her parents. She didn’t ask for my opinion whatsoever. She just sent her away one morning.
When we got a new girl, the first advice we gave her was about the guys. I told her, “They sing like canaries on heat. Be careful of them. Don’t bring any guy here while we are away. Don’t go to them. Don’t let us see you talking to any of the area guys, else we would send you away.”
A year later, she was also pregnant. When my wife told me, I started laughing. She was angry. I shouldn’t laugh at something as serious as that. I told her, “It may also be our fault. This is the second time it has happened. We can’t call it an accident. If we would bring people’s children here to get them pregnant, then what’s the point?”
To make issues difficult, this girl refused to name the guy who got her pregnant. I stopped asking questions. My wife was on her twenty-four-seven asking or pleading with her to name the person. This girl will sit there staring into nothingness and yet say nothing. My wife was angry. She told me, “If she won’t name the person, let’s send her away. Maybe she would tell her parents about it.”
I called the girl’s parents. They spoke to their daughter on the phone. I wasn’t there with her while they were talking. After, talking to her parents, she gave the phone to my wife and she also spoke to them. She still didn’t mention a name. Her parents said to my wife, “Please try and know the person. It could be anyone close because that girl doesn’t go far from where she lives.”
My wife packed all her things and was about to send her away. I said no. You don’t have to send her away because she’s pregnant. When we brought her here, she wasn’t pregnant. At least, let’s wait until we know who is responsible. That way things would be easier.”
“No, she has to go. She can’t hold us to ransom.”
“No, we have to take our time. We’ll definitely know.”
“Do you want her to give birth in this house for us to take care of her? What is she waiting for?”
It turned into a huge argument between us and in the middle of the argument my wife said, “Or you’re the one responsible. That’s why you’re protecting her.” I laughed at her. I said, “Is that all you can think of? To insult me because I said she’s not going away?”
I came from work to see the girl crying. From the way she looked, she had cried for a very long time. Her eyes were red and puffy. I asked what the issue was, thinking someone might have beaten her. She said, “Aunt slapped me. She said you’re the one who got me pregnant that’s why I’m not saying anything.” I told her, “You see what your silence is causing us? How much did the person give you that you don’t want to mention his name?”
She had already packed her things when I saw her. She told me she was leaving in the morning since she was bringing issues into our marriage. She was twenty-two. It wasn’t a crime to be pregnant at that age so I was shocked at the way she was protecting the name of the man. I sat with her that evening and pleaded with her to say it. She said, “It’s Coffie. He doesn’t want me to say it because he wants to complete school and marry me.”
Coffie lives across our house with his parents. He was younger than the girl we were living with. “Coffie? Do you mean that boy who completed SHS not too long ago? What did he tell you to allow him into you? That small boy?”
I rushed to tell my wife what I’d been told. She asked, “What Coffie? Do you think I’m a small girl to be lied to? If it’s him, then what took her too long to say it? When the scent travels abroad, we all will smell it.”
I took a step back and looked at her. I asked what she was implying. She walked out of the room and left me alone. “You’re joking, right? I hope you’re not serious about whatever you have in your head?” She didn’t say anything and to make issues more complicated, she stopped talking about the issues with the girl. I called her parents and told them everything so they decided to come for her.
A week before her parents came, the girl told me my wife showed her a bunch of money and pleaded with her to tell the truth about the pregnancy and take the money. She even put the money in her bag and asked her to tell the truth and keep it. My wife thinks I’m the one responsible. She had gone to Coffie’s house to ask him when he slept with the girl. She wanted to do the maths and see the possibility of him being the father.
In my wife’s mind, everyone is lying except the voice in her head. When we argue, she tells me, “A woman’s intuition cannot be wrong. I’ve always smelled something fishy since this girl came around here.”
I get angry. I argue my case out. She keeps quiet and watches me talk and later goes back to the same point where she believes I’m the one who impregnated the girl.
We’ve been married for three years and dated for four years. I never cheated on her when we were dating and I didn’t do anything to suggest I was cheating on her. The fights we had were never about cheating. And since we got married, we had fought over many things but cheating wasn’t one.
We’ve been trying for a child since marriage. She had been desperate for it while I’d always told her to relax and wait for God’s time. We are fighting for a child of our own so why would I betray the cause and do something that would embarrass us as a couple? She asked me to prove my innocence. I asked how and she said, “A paternity test on the baby when it’s delivered.” Again, I laughed. For some reason, everything she says sounds like a joke to me.
I told her, “If you would pay for it, I don’t mind. I won’t waste my money on a sin I didn’t commit. It’s not worth it. If you still doubt me, fine. Get your money ready for DNA after the child is born.”
To be honest with you, I’m not comfortable about the whole thing; the loss of trust in the marriage and loss of trust in the process. How do I even begin and where do I begin from? I go for the child and say what to the family? Isn’t it embarrassing to raise doubt in the minds of everyone where there’s no doubt? Knowing my wife, she won’t spend a Kobo on this and that’s where our deterioration will begin from.
The girl is currently five months pregnant. All is not well here but we are soldiering on. I’ve stopped explaining myself and focusing on being a husband. She behaves like she deserves an apology from me when I haven’t done anything. I will let her read this story when it’s published to let her know how far she has driven me to explain myself. If she insists, we’ll go to the wire. I have nothing to prove.