Dear Auntie Abena, I have been reading all the stories posted on your page, and it’s truly amazing to know that good, kind, and generous men still exist. However, for some reason, I have never had a man who takes care of my needs. I have always relied on myself and taken care of everything on my own. It’s frustrating when people ask for my help but don’t believe me when I say that I am broke.
Women who have partners, boyfriends, or husbands who support them should be grateful and appreciate these men, treating them with respect. Some men claim to be in a relationship with a woman but never lend a hand when she needs it. I’m not saying women should act like tax collectors, of course. Some can be too demanding.
Anyway, I am in my mid-forties and got divorced about 10 years ago. I have been told that no man will ever want to have anything serious to do with me, that men will always see me as a sex object. They say it’s because I am a divorcee, and such women are seen as “second-hand material.”
Due to these perceptions, I have decided to remain single because I know I am no longer in my twenties, and I have accepted my fate. My advice to young ladies is to choose their partners wisely.
Thank you for your time.
ADVICE FROM AUNTY ABENA
My Dear Anonymous Sister,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns with me. I understand that you have been through a difficult journey and have faced challenges in finding a partner who truly supports you. It’s important to remember that everyone’s experiences are unique, and it’s not fair to generalize that all men will see you as a “second-hand material” or solely as a sex object because of your divorce.
I have learned over the years that there are indeed good men. It’s usually our preferences or choices that make us miss them sometimes.
While it’s understandable that you have chosen to remain single and focus on yourself, I want to encourage you to keep an open mind and heart. It’s never too late to find love and companionship. Instead of dwelling on negative stereotypes, focus on building your own happiness and self-worth. Embrace your independence and strength, and don’t let others define your value based on your past.
In your quest for a partner, it’s crucial to choose wisely and seek someone who respects and appreciates you for who you are. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Remember that a healthy relationship is built on mutual love, respect, and understanding.
Lastly, don’t let the opinions of others dictate your own happiness. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, regardless of your marital status. Believe in yourself, and know that there are men out there who will appreciate you for the amazing person you are.
Take care of yourself and keep an open heart. Wishing you strength, joy, and fulfillment on your journey.
With warm regards,