In the past six months, I’ve recently reconnected with a guy I knew in college. We’re not dating per se because we live a few states apart, but we talk every night and we’ve met up twice now for long weekends to spend time together. Intellectually and emotionally, it’s all great. But sexually? Not great.
It’s hard to get me wet unless my partner goes down on me. But he doesn’t like my taste! Which is a him-problem—I’ve had plenty of partners who have enthusiastically eaten me out, so I know it’s not me.
But I can’t help but feel terrible about it? Because when he doesn’t go down on me I don’t get turned on, so then I’m dry, and penetrative sex is uncomfortable. Eventually it gets good and I get turned on, but because of how it all starts, I’m seriously sore the next time we try to have another round.
The last time we were together we tried again in the shower, he couldn’t do it, and I started bawling. It just made me feel so frustrated and unwanted. Which is not how I like my sex to go! I don’t know what to do.
We’re very open and talk to each other about it all, and I really like this guy in every other way, so this isn’t a deal-breaker for me. But I want to have great sex with him, not work-up-to-decent sex.
Should I be straight eating pineapples in the weeks leading up to his visits? Why is my body chemistry not matching up with his? I don’t want him to force himself to go down on me, but I also don’t want to be too dry for sex when we both really want to have it and only have a limited amount of time.