We’ve dated for three years. The only reason I haven’t married her is because she finds it hard to let things go. I love her. She has a good heart. She means well but roses come with thorns and her thorns prick where it hurts.
I had a child when I was twenty years old. I was young and stupid. I told her everything; how it happened, how the lady lied to me and how I discovered the child was mine. I wanted us to build trust but three years after telling her she uses it against me; “No wonder you had a child at twenty. If you continue doing this, you’ll father children that are not even your own.”
It hurts. I tell her but anytime she’s angry, she fights on issues that are old as time.
Her ex-boyfriend died two years before I met her. She still talks about him and even compares him to me. In her mind and heart, her ex always wins. It’s like I’m a downgrade but he’s taking me like that. “Josh won’t do what you’re doing. May God keep him wherever he is,” she would tell me. Or “When I found you, I thought you’d be like Josh.”
Josh is resting in peace, yet his memory is causing havoc in my relationship. She doesn’t listen. She thinks she’s right. You talk to her and she gets angry. I’m giving her time to change. I’ve asked people she’s shy of to talk to her. She comes out advising room only to tell me, “When you do this and I complain, you go and report me to elders but what you’re doing, Josh won’t do it. It’s the truth.”
I Told Him To Go Ahead And Do It
When she talks about marriage, I tell her I don’t have money. I have the money but I’m filled with doubt. I can’t live with this attitude forever. We should have married a year ago but the way I see it, it’s not possible to do it this year because I haven’t sensed the change I’m looking for.
Should I let her go? Or there’s something I haven’t done yet. I mean something that can bring extraordinary results. Please advise.