Hi Dr. NerdLove:
I guess I need help in terms of making sense of a bad run. I’ve had a few first dates over the last 6 months and none of them have really gone the way I’ve wanted them to, some of which I’ve talked to you about. These are all people I’ve met through grad school, and there was a trend with them where I had either met them through class or through a friend, gotten to know them, and asked them out.
Often the first dates seemed to go pretty well. The most recent one was someone I had felt was interested and asked out a couple days after our class, and we had played a couple of card and board games at a bar.
It seemed like we were both really enjoying ourselves and we were joking around a lot, and by the end of the date we had gotten pizza before leaving, and they became quite touchy after, and gave me their number after the date (we only connected on social media) and we had talked about seeing a movie. However, the day after, after they agreed to the day, they mentioned that they just wanted to be friends and hoped I was cool with it.
I’ve had this happen before; once with a girl I have talked to you about who was 5 years older than me, and another one who essentially everyone warned was using me. As well, they all had a lot of similarities; all of them were older than me, with the current one also being 5 years older than me, being an out of province student who was going back once the masters ended in August. As well, they were all suffering from depression.
The current one had mentioned they had been depressed for the last few years, expected to be depressed forever, and that they had been on medication at one point and that they thought they probably should be on medication. The other older one had also disclosed that she was depressed and going through financial issues as well, and had an ex they told me was the only ex they had that really ‘counted’ and they seemed to be in frequent contact with them, although she said it wasn’t romantic. I wrote to you about another one in “Was I right in…